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I hope there is something you read that may touch your heart. (Just a side note, I didn't intend to post this, but had a few requests from others. Also, this is not going to have perfect grammar, punctuation, and referencing because it was for a talk and not for a public read, but I still wanted to share it with you.)
How Important Our Role is in our Family Relationships
Hello Brothers and Sisters, so this Wednesday my husband came home from the
young men’s activity and brought me a gift, and it wasn’t flowers. It was the
opportunity to speak today... It is interesting how the Lord prepares you for something before
you even know it is here. For the past month I have had the message, “Happiness is… Being
with my family everyday,” on my white board in my home. I have focused
on not taking my family for granted and to enjoy the sweet moments I have will
my husband and children everyday that brings me joy. I hope the message I have prepared today will
touch your heart as it has mine by preparing ,how important our role is in our
family relationships.
Our Heavenly Father loves us so much he gave us the Great Plan of Happiness.
He gives us commandments,
covenants, and guidelines to protect us for the deceiving and nonstop
powers of the adversary that continually tries to destroy the most important
part in His Plan.
Elder L Tom Perry said best when he said;
“In a world of turmoil and uncertainty,
it is more important than ever to make our families the center of our lives and
the top of our priorities. Families lie at the center of our Heavenly Father’s
plan.”
I
wanted to share few thoughts that I think are important characteristics to the
happiness of the Family. As I pondering on this topic the lyrics from the
Primary song, “I am a
Child of God” came to my mind.
In
the first verse we sing;
1.
I am a child of God,
And
he has sent me here,
Has given me an earthly home,
With parents kind and dear.
We know we are children of
God and he sent us here to receive a body and be tested, However, our Heavenly Father has not abandon
us, He sent us to wonderful helpers, our earthly Parents! In the songs chorus it says, To teach me, guide me,
walk beside me to help me find the way. I know the important characteristic to Family
Happiness starts with the role of Parents.
No wonder we are fighting each day to keep the sanctity of marriage protected.
TEACH
In the Family: A Proclamation to the World it states;
“HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn
responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.
“Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and
righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach
them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be
law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and
fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these
obligations.”
Wow, No pressure or
anything, right… This
states our obligation as Parents is to TEACH our children and provide for them
both physically and spiritually.
Elder L Tom Perry states:
"We need to make our homes a place of refuge from the
storm, which is increasing in intensity all about us. Even if the smallest
openings are left unattended, negative influences can penetrate the very walls
of our homes."
And another significant quote from President David O McKay:
“No other success can compensate for failure in the home”
How lucky we are for
the beautiful spirits we have in our homes. I know many of you are doing an
amazing job teaching your children because I see it in your family relationships
and when your children bear
their sweet testimonies. It is evident that they have learned these truths for
themselves because of your efforts.
EXAMPLE
What is the best way
to teach our children?
We can find the
answer in John 5:19-20
“19 Then answered Jesus and said unto them,
Verily, verily, I say unto
you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for
what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise.
20 For the Father loveth the Son, and sheweth him all things that himself
doeth: and he will shew him greater works than these, that ye may marvel.”
I am grateful everyday for my sweet parents and their
example to me. At a very young age
my mother taught me that
my Heavenly Father knows me, he loves me, and he is proud of me. She
made sure I knew my Heavenly Father and helped me create a relationship with
him through prayer. It wasn’t until later in my life when I was struggling that
someone brought to my attention and asked me, “How is your relationship with your Heavenly Father?”
I then realized the reason I was struggling so much was because I didn’t depend
on my Father in Heaven enough. I thought I could figure things out on my own,
but soon came to the conclusion that I cannot get through this life without the love and guidance of my
Heavenly Father. He knows what is best for me, even when I am too blind or
stubborn to see it.
From my mother’s example I understand the importance of my relationship with my Heavenly
Father and have taught my
children to know their Heavenly Father and have helped them create their
own relationship with Him. In those precious moments as I have knelt down by
the side of my children, I
can tell you many stories of the sweet, funny, and random things they
have mentioned in their prayers, which puts a smile on my face every time. I wouldn’t give those moments up
for anything else, not even 5 more minutes of watching my favorite TV show, the
pile of laundry that still needs to be folded, or whatever else distracts us
from these sweet moments with our children.
Another important statement In the Family: A Proclamation to the World says;
“Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded
upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families
are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance,
forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational
activities.”
Let me read this last
sentence one more time…
“Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles
of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and
wholesome recreational activities.”
By living by these principles we will receive true joy and happiness in
this life and in eternity.
TIME
I have a fond memory with my Dad and two
brothers growing up. My brothers and I wanted to go to Disneyland so our
Dad made us a deal that if
we found 1000 golf balls he would take us to Disneyland. I grew up in
St. George, Utah so if you have ever golfed there you know the type of overgrown tamarisk trees that
line the side of the fairways. We spent endless hours searching for golf
balls after dad got off work and before it got too dark, but we found our 1000
golf balls. We shined them up using the ball cleaner on the course and placed them in egg cartons and
sold them to our neighbor and other golfers for around $6 for dozen. I
think we raised about $500
and were able to fund our trip to Disneyland. But the funny thing is that I don’t remember much about
the trip to Disneyland than my feelings and memories I made with my Dad and
brothers. The joy and excitement we had when we found one and how happy
we were when a sibling was able to contribute to our main goal was wonderful. My Dad knew this would be a great
learning experience but also we would be able to spend more time together. Oh
how I treasure my relationships with my family members, especially now that I
don’t see them as often.
Back to the Song I
am a child of God the second verse says:
2.
I am a child of God,
And so my needs are great;
Help me to understand his
words
; Before it grows too late.
Why do you think we
teach our children at a young age about the principles and ordnances of the
Gospel? If they have a goal to be baptized, to go on a mission and or be
married in the temple these decisions that are made far before the actually
event. This will ensure they choose the right along the way to keep those goals
in perspective. We know that our actions speak louder than words. Here is what Elder Christofferson has to say to the
women and YW about our role:
“My plea to women and girls today is to protect and
cultivate the moral force that is within you. Preserve that innate virtue and
the unique gifts you bring with you into the world. Your intuition is to do good
and to be good, and as you follow the Holy Spirit, your moral authority and
influence will grow. To the young women I say, don’t lose that moral force even
before you have it in full measure. Take particular care that your language is
clean, not coarse; that your dress reflects modesty, not vanity; and that your
conduct manifests purity, not promiscuity. You cannot lift others to virtue on
the one hand if you are entertaining vice on the other.”
Women and Moms, it
all starts with us. How
can we expect our daughters and YW to follow these guidelines if we are not
ourselves?
Quote from President Eyring:
“The Lord has given us all the source of hope as we
struggle to help those we love accept their eternal inheritance. He has made
promises to us as we keep trying to gather people to Him, even when they resist
His invitation to do so. Their resistance saddens Him, but He does not quit,
nor should we.”
There may be pain and sorrow from family members who
haven’t lived up to their obligations,
but all I can suggest is to pray for them. The Lord will soften their heart, it
may take time, but all you can do is be there for them and continue to love
them. You cannot change others; they have to have the desire to change for
themselves.
We read in the 3rd
verse of that sweet song;
3. I am a child of God. Rich blessings are in store; If I
but learn to do his will,
I'll live with him once more.
Elder M. Russell Ballard teaches us:
“we need to do things in the right order! Marriage first
and then family. Too many in the world have forgotten this natural order of
things and think they can change it or even reverse it. Remove any of your fear
with faith. Trust the power of God to guide you.”
KEEPING OUR COVENANTS
By this we learn
another characteristic to family happiness: Keeping Our Covenants
In the Family: A Proclamation to the World:
"The divine plan of happiness enables family
relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and
covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return
to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.”
I ask you this question, "Why wouldn’t you
want a temple marriage?" (adding this afterward) Or if you are already married being sealed to your family through the proper authority of the Priesthood?
President Eyring declares;
“Wherever you are on the path to
inherit the gift of eternal life, you have the opportunity to show many people
the way to greater happiness. When you choose whether to make or keep a
covenant with God, you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope to
those who might follow your example.”
The best decision I ever made
was to marry my husband in the Temple! I made that goal early enough in my
life, I didn’t not want to accept any other way, and I am glad I never did.
Because the blessings from
a temple marriage give me that hope that I can be with my family forever
because of the covenants I have made in the Temple.
Here is what M
Russell Ballard said regarding this,
“Among Church members who are married in the temple and
who regularly attend Sunday meetings, the divorce rate is significantly less
than that of the world, and families remain closer and are in more frequent communication.”
The other things he shares
with us is that families are healthier and live longer, they become more
educated, they serve more, and most important are Happier. Who wouldn’t want
these wonderful blessings for their family?
ENDURE
In
the final verse of the Primary song it says,
4.
I am a child of God.
His promises are sure;
Celestial glory shall be mine;
If
I can but endure.
Dear sisters you are
the heart of the home. Therefore, the adversary will strike you the most, if he
hasn’t already tried. You may feel inadequate, not beautiful enough, educated
enough, you might think you have more weaknesses than strengths, or feel less
valued. But, PLEASE DO NOT let these thoughts linger because they can destroy
you and obviously they are NOT TRUE. You are a daughter of God. You are enough!
Continue to be faithfully and endure!
D&C 14:7
"And, if you keep my commandments and endure to the end you shall have
eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God."
As
we have learned from President Harold B Lee, “the most important work we will
ever do will be within the walls of our own homes.”
Testimony
Here are the talks I referenced from. When you have time please listen to them because they are wonderful.
The Family: A Proclamation to the World
L. Tom Perry: The Importance of the Family, April 2003
M. Russell Ballard: That the Lost May Be Found, April 2012
D. Todd Christofferson: The Moral Force of Women, October 2013
President Henry B. Eyring: A Priceless Heritage of Hope, April 2014
